Earlier that week, I had come to the realization that my son was a drug addict. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to face. But you can only convince yourself otherwise for so long, before the evidence becomes overwhelming. The day I had that final realization was the day I told him his friends were no longer welcome in my home. I also told each friend that arrived to leave and not come back. If my son didn’t like that he could move out.
It took less than a week for him to do what most addicts do – ignore me. When I got home from work one evening, a young man who I had expressly told was not welcome in my house due to his drug issues was sitting in my living room. You probably know that arguing with an addict is a fruitless venture. Addicts love to argue. It’s part of what drugs do to them. So, rather than argue with my son or make a scene, I said I forgot something at the office and had to go back for a minute. As soon as I got a block from my house I called the police. They met me at the market and I explained that I wanted them to get this guy out of my house. The officers said they would have him step out of the house, I would tell him in their presence that he was not to come back or I would have him arrested, and put him in jail.
As soon as the young man saw the squad car pull in the driveway he was out the back door and running, but they caught him. They walked him to the edge of the property and I told him in front of them that if he stepped foot on my lawn or in my home again, I would have him arrested. He took off walking down the street and did not look back. I have not seen again him to this day and it’s been six years.
You can probably guess how humiliated and angry my son was, but he got the message. His addiction was his addiction but I was not going to subject myself to being in the presence of his drug friends ever again. From that day forward, with rare exception, his friends did not hang out at my house or come around. Eventually, as my son got sober, he chose to stop associating with them outside the house as well.
One of the first things that needs to be done once you realize your child is taking drugs is evaluating what changes you can make that will give you a feeling of empowerment and control. When a parent discovers her child is on drugs, the feeling of having lost control during some very crucial years is overwhelming. Pick something that bothers you and change it. Don’t like his friends? Ban them. Want him to be in by a certain time? Take away his house key and lock the door at the appointed time.
It may seem like such a tiny step in the large black hole of emotions that realizing your child does drugs has caused, but that one tiny step starts the path to recovery, which is essential if you are going to move forward. Commonly abused prescription drugs An Addicted Child